End of an Era

Well it's finally over with D.

Let's start from the beginning, shall we? Yesterday, after a really long day at work I met up with my friend who's in town, his girlfriend and her friend at this local bar. After awhile D showed up and we finally hung out for the first time since the now infamous conversation. This was what I had been wanting, I needed to hang out with her in person once before I decided what my next move was gonna be and she didn't disappoint.

First, she turns her cheek when I go to give her a kiss hello; bad sign, and things just sort of went from there. Granted, we had some nice chats and a fairly good time all together, but something was definitely missing. What a shame.

So today at work I send her a text saying that I needed some face time with her after work and that we could just talk outside her apartment. After work I walked over there and we talked. I was honest, I just broke it down saying that I feel it's time for the romance / dating era of our relationship to come to an end and that I still stand by what I said months ago in that I think we should / will be friends and a part of each other's life for quite some time. I told her that before we started to be friends I need some time away from her.

I told her that we shouldn't see each other for a few months because I can't go from dating to being friends over night, I need some time to cool off. She reacted to the whole thing pretty predictably, in fact it was exactly how I thought she would react. She didn't seem neither happy nor sad; even keeled the whole way. She said she was cool with it and that she really appreciated my honesty and that I did it face to face, etc.

So, there it is, it would seem as we'll be friends at some point down the road, but there is something about D that makes me think that might not happen. Call it a feeling but I get the feeling that when the time comes that I'm completely over, which will happen, and I'm ready to just be friends with her she'll be nowhere to be found.

I don't know, I guess only time will tell on this, but for now, I am now a complete free agent for the first time in months. I do know this as well, my time was D was some of the best times I've had since probably ever. No girl ever made me feel the way she did, there were times when I thought she might be it, it is really sad to me that this had to end, and so soon to boot. It's amazing how these things work, and how people change and their minds change so fast and without warning.

It seemed like D changed overnight. On "Monday" she was all mine, by "Tuesday" she was lost never to be found. I will not lie, even though I was the one who officially ended it, I am surely the one who's most sad and hurt by this whole thing. Ending it wasn't necessarily what I wanted, but it was what was best. Sometimes you have to sacrifice what you want for the good of the group, and in this case ending things was what was best.

I just hope D does realize that, and really does feel similar to how I feel. She is a great and amazing woman and someday she's gonna make some guy really, really lucky. That guy just wont be me.